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I found myself in a familiar meeting two weeks ago... it's like deja vu. I recognize it happening some 4 or 5 months ago, with the same people, same discussion, same plans, same agenda, same everything.
Four or five months ago, I was enthusiastic to start whatever that was given to me as a task. And just like anything that's not right, that enthusiasm faded. That task just became something to do because i have to. The enthusiasm I felt, the need to do it because it's right... it isn't there anymore. Maybe it's the people, maybe it's the task itself, maybe it's a whole other factor but one thing is sure... that meeting two weeks ago, i don't see anything coming out of that. It'll be another task that's not even in my job description but it's something i have to do because I agreed to it. Why did I agree? Because there's no reason not to. And it sounds okay to me that time. Fun even. But now that I think of it thoroughly... *sigh*
You can say I am feeling a bit hopeless. Well, who wouldn't? Two years. Two years. I can't say I wasn't happy in those two years, but as they say... I'm not getting any younger. It makes me wonder... what if I left a year ago, will I still be in the same boat? Maybe not.
I hate what-ifs. It gives you the feeling that you didn't make the right decision. Sucks.
Now the question is, what should I do?
*sigh*
I wish i know the answer to that question
*grumbles and immerses self in Breaking Dawn*
0 people sat with me and waited
Tuesday, August 19, 2008
ok.. i've been too busy lately. nothing wrong with that really, but then.. i just realized i don't know what the eff i'm busy about. but what i do know is that i've been thinking too much these past few days. and that scares me. too much thinking means there are some things that's totally bothering me. i mean, why would i think about it that much if it's not bothering me, right? this is getting crazy. 
0 people sat with me and waited
Saturday, August 9, 2008
currently looking for these movies on DVD:
- La vita è bella (Life is Beautiful)
- Mr. Holland's Opus
- The Pianist
already sent an email to parconline.biz to inquire... saw the items on Amazon. but the amazon site freaks me out. seriously. or maybe i can go to a video shop here and look for those titles. i actually just want the first two movies. the third one's my brother's. *shrugs* and i'm looking forward to watching Mama Mia. looks interesting. plus i adore songs from Abba. ^_^V
my iPod's functional again. i brought new earphones. blah. i need to update the playlists. and remove some. yey for private music while on the threadmill!
and about that school thingie concerning my brother. all's well and good. mrs. principal got scared of discussing the case in a courtroom. 
just a random post. i don't get to update this anymore. *sigh*
next time~ 
0 people sat with me and waited
Saturday, August 2, 2008
my brother's high school is driving me mad.
i swear... if things don't get better soon, i'll sue their sorry asses.
explain more when i have the time and patience.
grrr...
0 people sat with me and waited